When I do something good to my team, I make some deposits to the emotional bank account. Similarly when I do something bad to my team ..., yes, that too happen once in a while. I am also human, and I can err, then I withdraw from the emotional bank accounts. As long as my emotional bank deposits are more than the withdrawals, the team will include me, else I will be always an outsider. Be demanding, and at the same time focus on improving the production capability relentlessly. One fine day you will realize that you are part of the team completely, and the team will start resonating with your product backlog. Some managers make the blunder of imposing rules on to the team, even before understanding the names of the team members. A very wrong start indeed. A great opportunity missed. Yes, all these are influenced by the 'Seven habits of highly effective people' by Stephen R Covey, and I am lucky and blessed to revisit it wearing the hat of a product owner and a scrum master.